Thursday, March 5, 2009

Ocean's Fourteen: Meltdown

Danny Ocean (George Clooney) gets out of prison again and his buddy Brad Pitt asks "So what casino are we gonna rob this time?" But Ocean is like "I already have a quadrillion dollars from all the other casinos... maybe it's time to retire." Brad Pitt gets a serious look on his face and says, "Well then, I guess my work here is done." and he walks into the bushes and fades away. Ocean is like "What the fuck?" Then Matt Damon comes up and asks "Who were you just talking to?" and Ocean tells him he was talking to Brad Pitt, but then Matt Damon looks at Ocean strangely and says, "Brad Who?" And that's when Ocean realizes... Brad Pitt never existed, he was in Ocean's imagination the whole time!

So Ocean tries to play it off like a joke and tells Matt Damon that he's going to retire because he's already a zillionaire. Then Matt Damon gets a serious look on his face and says, "Well then, I guess my work is done here." and he floats up into the sky. And that's when Ocean realizes... Matt Damon never existed, he was in Ocean's imagination the whole time! So Ocean's getting a little freaked out now by all these revelations, and he runs home to his girlfriend Julia Roberts' house. But she's not there! And all her stuff is gone! And that's when Ocean realizes, Julia Roberts never existed, she was in Ocean's imagination the whole time! All those times he thought he was fucking her, he was just jerking off! Holy shit!

He travels to the houses of his other Eleven friends, and none of them existed either! There was no Chinese acrobat, no Cockney safecracker played by Don Cheadle, and there was certainly no Bernie Mac. Even Casey Affleck and his brother James Caan's Son were imaginary! The only one of his crew who is real is Elliot Gould. When Ocean gets to his house, Elliot explains how he used to sit around for hours, watching Ocean play Fourteen different characters. Because it was hilarious. Ocean starts crying, "You're a sick bastard, Elliot Gould." Elliot replies "I sure am, Danny. I sure am. Now do Bernie Mac for me again. I miss that guy."

1 comment:

  1. Well, its an interesting idea, but I don't think it will survive the first story conference. Good try though! Very creative....

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