Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Face/Off 2: Bigger and Blacker

Omar Banks (Martin Lawrence) is a janitor at the White House, and one day his boss, President Barack Obama is put into a coma by a bumbling assassin. The President's Chief of Staff (Xzibit) doesn't want the public to know about it because of the economic crisis or something. He's like, "What are we going to do... to save America?" And then Omar walks into the room with his mop and sees the unconcious President. He's like "Whoa, clean up on aisle one OR WHAT" and Xzibit gets an idea... They're going to cut his face off.

:::record scratch:::

So now Omar Banks has to pretend to be the President because he's wearing Obama's face. He holds a press conference to assure America that everything is okay, and Xzibit is telling him what to say through his earpiece. But then there's some feedback or something and so Martin Lawrence just has to make shit up! Xzibit is watching him say all this crazy shit and he's getting pretty steamed, but the fake President manages to smooth things over and Xzibit's like "Hmm.. maybe this'll work after all." And then Martin Lawrence says something innapropriate and the audience all gasps, and one old lady faints out of emarrassment. ML is like "Whoa, clean up on aisle one OR WHAT"

:::record scratch:::

Later that day, The First Lady is all turned on because of ML's press conference. The fake President is meeting with a Prime Minister of China or something, and the FL comes up and whispers something in his ear, and ML is like "You're gonna suck my WHAT?" and the Chinese Prime Minister says something in Chinese and the subtitles say "Hit dat shit, nigga!" We cut to a few minutes later, after Martin Lawrence and the First Lady have finished gettin' it on, and ML is like "Whoa, clean up on aisle one OR WHAT"

:::record scratch:::

Just then, the real President wakes up from his coma. He's like "what the fuck is going on" and Xzibit tells him "Well sir, while you were in a coma for the last 12 hours, we removed your face and put it on the White House janitor, so that the public wouldn't panic." Barack is like "This is ri-goddamn-diculous. Bring this Janitor to me!" So they bring him back and they switch their faces so everything is back to normal. But Martin Lawrence learned a lot from this experience... and he is going to run for President in 2012. Cut to 2012, and ML of course loses the election to Obama. Then PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA is like "Whoa, clean up on aisle one OR WHAT" and they both laugh even though it makes no sense.

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