Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The Sixth Sense II: Rise of the Silver Senser

Bruce Willis (Bruce Willis) has just realized that he is a ghost. He goes over to Haley Joel Osment's house and is like "Why didn't you tell me I was a ghost you mother fuck" and Haley explains, "Every time someone figures out they're a ghost and that I'm the only one who can see them, they want to use their powers for evil. So fuck you, Bruce Willis." But Bruce doesn't want to use his powers for evil, he wants to use them to fight crime. And there's a bank robbery in progress downtown happening right now!

Bruce and Haley Joel Olmos run to the Downtown Bank and sure enough, some goons with guns are robbing the place. They're forcing the Bank Manager to put all the money in a big bag with a dollar sign on it. The Head Goon is like "Hey, Jimmy-Boy, here's da secret location of where we're gonna stash da goods" and he passes Jimmy-Boy a note. J-B makes sure not let anyone else see it because it's a secret. But Invisible Bruce Willis fucking saw it! So then Bruce Willis tells Haley Joel Oswald who then tells the cops. He tells them over the phone using a voice-changer so they don't know it's him. The Commissioner is like "Who are you?" and HJO says "Just call me... The Senser." The next day all the newspapers are like "WHO IS THE CENSOR?" and HJO is pissed off because they spelled his name wrong.

After several weeks of crime-fighting, Bruce Willis is starting to get jealous that Haley Joel Oldman is taking all the credit as "The Senser". HJO is like "What am I supposed to tell them, 'I couldn't do it without the assistance of my sidekick, Ghost Boy'?" And Bruce says "What do you mean 'Ghost BOY', I'm like 40 years older than you" But The Senser's has had enough of this bullshit. He's just hit puberty so he's got better things to do than hang around with a ghost. So he takes out his Necronomicon and uses a Satanic spell to trap the ghost of Bruce Willis inside his pet hamster's body. He then hangs up his Senser mask for good and goes on living like a normal 13 year old kid (who sees dead people). But the Immortal Hamster Bruce Willis is always watching from inside his hamster cage... waiting for the right time to strike.

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