Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Panic Room 2: Still Panicking

Jodie Foster and her kid have moved into a new house, and this time she makes sure it has TWO panic rooms in it. Jodie actually sleeps in a panic room. Her kid is like "Mom, don't panic so much. Forrest Whittaker is in prison, it's not like he's going to break into our house again." Well Jodie isn't worried about Forrest Whittaker because they've been emailing eachother ever since the events of Panic Room 1 so he's cool. Anyway, that night a pizza guy shows up and he's like "Who ordered the pepperoni with extra cheese?" But Jodie Foster DIDN'T ORDER ANY PIZZA. So she runs up to her panic room and locks herself inside. Jodie's Kid pays for the pizza because she's the one who ordered it, but Jodie doesn't believe her. She thinks HER OWN DAUGHTER is the mastermind behind this whole operation. She is panicking! So then JK eats the whole pizza herself. She's gotten pretty fat since the first movie. Soon, the Pizza Guy returns. He's like "I forgot to give you your extra pepperoni, baby..." Then Jodie says over the intercom "Look out, he's the infamous Pizza Rapist" but he actually does have extra pepperoni so he gives it to JK. But at this point Jodie Foster is panicking so much that she thinks the Pizza Guy just raped her daughter and ate her. She curls up in the fetal position and lies there until she dies. She has the greatest panic room in the world, so nobody is able to break in until 12 years later when scientists have invented a special kind of laser that cuts through panic rooms. The panic room has preserved Jodie Foster's mummified corpse, and in her hand they find... a stick of pepperoni! THE END.

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